My Wife, The Caddy

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!”
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
“Yes?” replied the teacher.
“Is it ok if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

I Love Older Women

To set this up, I’ve been married for nearly 25 years. The other day I took a look at my wife said, “Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV… but I got to sleep with a hot 25 year old blonde every night.”
“Now, we have a $300,000.00 house, a $50,000.00 car, a nice big bed and plasma screen TV… but I’m sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
Now my wife is a very reasonable woman . She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year-old blonde and she would make sure that I would once again be “living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”
Aren’t older women grand? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis!