Begin with the relationship with yourself. You’d better feel good about that lest it infect all others.

If you devote even ten minutes to creating a simple listing you may surprise yourself how quickly the names and categories add up. Give it an hour and you’ll likely be stunned. Now, for each one, if your relationship were objectively rated on a scale ranging from “Excellent” to “Poor” how would you measure up? And why? Is it neglect or indifference or simply unawareness?
If you cavalierly admit that you don’t care and it’s only the performance that counts, think again. I’ve known and heard about many otherwise excellent speakers who are so difficult to work with that event planners simply won’t suffer a second time in dealing with them. And, since such word travels quickly, how many bookings will “ Mr. or Ms. Difficult” never get due to that reputation?
I recently asked as planner pal if a particular speaker who was on her program was as difficult to work with as was reputed, she quickly retorted: “Not difficult at all. He was impossible -- and I’m warning all my friends.”

The Key To Success in Speaking

There are countless ways to describe and analyze what constitutes success in speaking. Elements such as “an important message well delivered” – “commanding stage presence” -- “effective marketing so as to become known to many planners” – “topic flexibility so you can stay ahead of changing times.” -- -- “organizational ability” etc.
But if there’s a single word that towers above all when it comes to success, it’s “Relationships.” After five decades of business speaking (more than three of them as a professional) I affirm this even more.
Yes, it will take you some time, but to prove my point, simply delineate -- and then describe -- the myriad relationships you are involved with, willingly or not. In broad terms divide them professionally and personally with some intertwined. Since there are so many relationships each of us is involved with, I suggest you write down a few of the most important and tell why they are vital.